final personal essay (5)

Course Reflection:

What have you learned in our class about the importance of knowing the complete history of America and its connection to learning to honor and celebrate difference?

“Some of us are men, some are women. Some are gay, some are straight. Some are young, some old. Some are Christian, some Jewish, some Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, and some atheist. [Some of us are black, some brown, and some white.] Some of us are short, and others tall. Some right-handed, some left-handed, some disabled. We have lots of differences; we are all unique. But deep down inside us, down in our DNA, we are 99.9 percent the same. And I believe we need to remember that” (White, This I Believe).

I can only agree with what Sherri White has frankly expressed. For me, living in a pluralistic society does not mean ignoring our differences nor does it mean being disrespectful to and taking for granted our privileges and blessings. Rather, living in a pluralistic community, to me, translates into the need for an appreciation and acceptance of my fellow neighbor's existence and well-being as well as the necessity of continually advocating for justice. I strongly believe that Dr. Weems' course (especially through her imagination-intellect theoretical framework) has encouraged deep introspection and reflection from my classmates and I. It has been a truly rich and memorable experience—one whose lessons I cannot imagine myself forgetting.

Throughout my readings and our classroom discussions, I was constantly being reminded of several incontrovertible facts—namely that I have been living a sheltered and disengaged lifestyle and have been doing so as a result of privilege and fear. (It was no coincidence that I selected racial FEAR as the topic of my mid-semester oral presentation. Consequently, I have been changed cognitively and behaviorally because of it). It seems that I have always sort of assumed that mom and dad would pay for my college tuition or that there would always be a hot meal waiting for me when I got home from school or work. To me, those were trivial matters and nothing that concerned me. How naive I was to think that those same luxuries are what rips apart dreams and infiltrates the daily lives of millions in our global community. In my attempt last year to live in solidarity with those people who are impoverished and marginalized, I struggled mightily. My monthly stipend was gone before I knew it and my daily struggles of teaching & advising predominantly black and Latino/a adolescents became rather severe (to the point where I had shooting pain up and down my forearms!). Needless to say, teaching for the first time in an urban school setting stretched me in such a manner that I finally realized how utterly blessed I had been my entire life.

I have also been reminded throughout the span of this course that I continually contribute to pre-conceived notions and stereotypes regarding the gender, race, and sexual orientation of both friends and strangers that are lodged in my mind someplace. I recall one student's response to teachers who wish to get to know their students fairly early on in the school year: “It's easy to assume things about a student based on their neighborhood or their race and class—like if you're black, 'You like basketball, huh?' They say, 'You don't talk like someone from Harlem.' We don't' have to be reminded by you of what the stereotypes are. ~ Vance” (Cushman, 6). I'm still not sure why it has become extremely difficult for me to eliminate these constructs. Maybe they provide me with a sense of controlling the unknown or maybe the media has offered these prejudices up and I have accepted? Whatever the case may be, I am committed to permanently upending them as well as allowing for those men, women and children that I encounter to define who they are and what they stand for. I have been challenged and supported in this endeavor by both my professor and classmates this semester.

Speaking of classmate/teacher support, there is another dimension of my classroom experience that I would like to entertain—namely my initial reluctance to speak up in class about controversial issues followed by my gradual progression towards feeling more comfortable sharing my values and convictions with my professor and peers. Once again, I am reminded of a student from Cushman's Fires in the Bathroom whose low self-esteem is exposed every time she makes herself vulnerable: “When I don't know the material, I don't even ask questions...I don't want people to hear me talk because I don't people to notice me. I have this fear that people judge me for every little thing. I stutter when I'm nervous, so it's a big thing for me, or I'll say a word wrong ~ Lauraliz" (Cushman, 87). This did (and does) describe me as a student—someone who was more often than not hesitant to speak up out of fear of teacher or peer ridicule. I hate(d) being wrong or incorrect! I strongly believe that this class (classmates included) have challenged me to grow in this arena. There was one recent class when two students were presenting their final project, and one of the male students (who was role-playing as a pregnant teenager) asked if anyone thought “her” having an abortion was immoral. I immediately raised my hand and realized that I was the only one that had. What developed next were a series of exchanges between the professor, the presenting students, another classmate and myself. I feel as if I exposed myself but later realized that I had gained a lot more insight into the matter than if I had decided to keep my hand down. I have always had immense respect for Rosa Parks for her ability to fight for justice; I will use her story and her witness as personal inspiration.

Those were some major areas of my own personal life experience that I believe were exposed, challenged and transformed during this past semester. For those encounters, I am grateful and hope that I will continue to challenge my racist tendencies as well as continue to step outside my comfort zones. I believe that some of the greatest growth occurs when we are pushed to our limit and initially feel insecure. It is my wish that I will continue to be placed in those situations and to handle it with care and caution. That being said, I would like to conclude with a seemingly novel, but truthful quote from a high school student regarding the actual history of Thanksgiving and the real relationship between the Native Americans and the Anglo-Saxons: "When you hear the story of the Pilgrims, it seems like they came, they were hungry, the Indians helped them. There was Thanksgiving, it was all nice. When my old teachers would tell it, I wouldn't understand why the Pilgrims would hate the Indians if they gave them food. But my teacher explained how the Pilgrims resented the Native Americans for helping them. It was a matter of white pride, Christian pride, jealousy, envy--human emotions and motives. That connected it to me. I could identify. History still affects us; people who were once in conflict had children ~ Vance" (Cushman, 141). I am (we are) that/those child(ren) and it is our conflict, our fight now. I hope someone, I hope I will respond.

color commentary plus q & q (cushman ch.9-end) (5)

In her final three chapters, Kathleen Cushman concludes with a treatise what it means and how to cope when students AND teachers fail in their respective roles. She does so by pointing out the reasons why both parties fail (i.e. giving up on students, ineffective instruction, lack of confidence). Chapter 10 concerns those ways in which educators can utilize distance learning (i.e. community cleanup, internships, summer & enrichment programs) to allow for their students to create their global classroom and more importantly, constant learning. In addition to providing interviewee biographies and teacher resources, Kathleen finishes her masterpiece by helping her audience realize that YOUR students have the same concerns and attitudes about education and should be listened to when so often they are ignored.

essential quotations:

"I am one of the students that's in the crowd that teachers don't notice. I'm not liked and not disliked. It feels safer. I don't want to have people think I'm needy and I don't want to talk unless I'm sure I have the answer right. ~ Lauraliz" (Cushman, 163).

[This response is intriguing to me, especially since I hope to be a professional counselor someday. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of the relationship between the faculty and counseling department. Students are real people with real physical, emotional, and spiritual needs--not just academic. While it may be difficult to help others like Lauraliz as they journey through school, it is crucial that staff members provide the resources for them to take at their leisure.]

"Relax and take your mind off school for a while. Think about the kids: We need you, we want to get out of school and become someone. [Try to] stay organized but relaxed. ~ Montoya" (Cushman, 171).

[Where the wisdom comes from I will never know? It's incredible how some young people have such a grip on their life, but that's just it. Educators fail to give their students enough credit! I had two students who approached me after a difficult class one afternoon last year. They were concerned about the classroom atmosphere and about a particular student. They knew I was struggling and needed some help. They were probably 9-10 years younger than me. I cannot recall exactly what they shared with me that day, but I remember being humbled.]

"One problem with teachers is they want to be crusaders, they're so gung ho--'I'm going to go to their house, together we can do that, Billy, together we can do it!" And then if that doesn't work they feel like failures, they get depressed because they didn't save that one kid, and so the twenty others suffer. Because all the energy is exerted on that one kid--you invest so much energy, and your drive, your determination, your love for the job is all spent on one student. ~ Vance" (Cushman, 171).

[I suffer from this tendency/problem, but I am aware of it, which I believe is a step in the right direction. I've always had that "I'm gonna save the world" mentality, but I've learned to be more realistic, which is why I have adopted, in my opinion, a better slogan, "think global, act local." Vance is a very perceptive student who educators/counselors need to hear from or else we will be no good to no one.]

"You want [kids] to find themselves, and not everyone is going to find themselves in the classroom. So you want to open as many doors as you can. ~ Latia" (Cushman, 175).

[Amen. This is so well-said I have nothing to add. Number one goal for educators = provide a safe, learning environment for students who have a right to a quality education. You are (I am) not their parent/guardian and I can never be that for them, which can be difficult.]


"As every [good & experienced] educator knows, good teaching entails far more than basic intelligence and knowledge. It requires the courage to look honestly at what is and imagine what could be. It requires the humility to admit one's own mistakes and to keep trying. It requires empathy, to hear and feel what someone else is experiencing. And it takes genuine curiosity about people and ideas. In fact, good teaching looks a great deal like learning" (Cushman, 184).

[I think I may put this series of statements above my desk when I become a school counselor. What a pledge for every educator to live by! I've seen and heard of some of the least intelligent/articulate people become some of the most impressionable and successful educators. Those four qualities that Cushman mentions--courage, humility, empathy, and genuine curiosity--are the ingredients that we all need to make our lives and professions sweeter.]


critical questions:

question #1: Cushman cites that "three out of five [teachers] leave the profession in their first five years" (162). If this is true, what could explain this concerning phenomenon? Is there anything a particular school's administration or board of trustees can do to try and ratify this trend? If so, what? If not, why not?

question #2: Why are educators paid so little? Are not there responsibilities tremendously important? Considering the amount of money celebrities and star athletes make, the economic hierarchy seems to be a little backwards, no?

color commentary plus q & q (cushman ch. 6-8) (5)

In chapters six through eight, Cushman delves into the pressing issues of student motivation/boredom, stretching student's minds through active learning, and students who experience English as a second language. I think she tackles a difficult educative loop-hole (as referenced by the subtitle of Chapter 6: "just saying you need to pass math isn't enough. show me how knowing Pi is worth something") when she asks students about what keeps them motivated and focused during their tenure as high school students. Don't get me wrong. It was comforting to hear that these students understand the importance of a good education and appreciate a passionate and empathic teacher, but there is still a bit of a adult-teen maturity gap that exists. On the subject of teaching students' difficult material that seems to surface in the spring semester in most classes, Cushman and her interviewees are clear in their assessment that unless the teacher is patient and willing to present course material in different forms (i.e. visual aids), then individual frustration for both parties is inevitable. There is also an emphasis on appropriately utilizing alternative media resources (vs. textbooks) during class sessions, so as to allow students to make more practical applications to class lessons. Throughout Chapter 8, Cushman is focused on the obstacles that exist between student whose primary language is not English and those teachers who have one or more ESL students in their classes. Cushman and her interviewees provide a whole host of ideas and suggestions for what can be done to combat this initial disadvantage.

essential quotations:

"When you hear the story of the Pilgrims, it seems like they came, they were hungry, the Indians helped them. There was Thanksgiving, it was all nice. When my old teachers would tell it, I wouldn't understand why the Pilgrims would hate the Indians if they gave them food. But my teacher explained how the Pilgrims resented the Native Americans for helping them. It was a matter of white pride, Christian pride, jealousy, envy--human emotions and motives. That connected it to me. I could identify. History still affects us; people who were once in conflict had children ~ Vance" (Cushman, 141).

[I am constantly amazed by what children and teenagers say. I am reminded of the late 90's show Kids Say the Darnedest Things with host Bill Cosby! Yet as much as what they say can be humorous, they get it! Young people want to know the truth and when they find out that someone has been telling them the wrong information, they get upset. I am even thinking about my own classmates who became emotional when they started reading the true account of US history for the first time in their lives.]

"My teacher asked us: What does 'ghetto' mean to you? I thought it was like kids from Oakland, but she told us it was about Jews. Also I used to think black people were all drug dealers, but my history teacher said: "Have you ever thought about how much people [went through] to get here?" It made me change the way I thought about them ~ Veronica" (Cushman, 126).

[I selected this quote for the reason that I constantly need to have my assumptions challenged (which they have been). I am incredibly naive and have lived an extremely sheltered life. I also have some racist tendencies that usually only remain in my thoughts, but I often consider their origin.]

"We had to choose someone who was famous or had done something interesting and write a paper about them. I really wanted to write about Eminem, so I got all my info on him and looked for anything else I could find on the computer. After all that, my teacher told me what I had wasn't enough or good enough to write a whole paper, so I had to do someone else, and the paper end up really bad. I don't think any of my teachers like Eminem, and they didn't want me to write about him ~ Diana" (Cushman, 116).

[To squash a young person's passion, idea or dream is crippling--whether it is a school assignment or something bigger. When I was teaching a 9th grade keyboarding class last year, I asked my students to put together a power point presentation on a famous figure in history, sports, or pop culture. Many of my students chose controversial musical artists, and I toyed with the idea of letting them research those figures. Then I thought 'if they're excited about learning more about their favorite artist and they're learning how to do research in the process, then what the heck...let them do it! plus, who am I to say that that individual is not worthy of the fame and fortune that they've been blessed?]

"In seventh grade my grades started slipping. I noticed I had a lot more freedom, and I stopped doing my work. But they kept on passing me, even though I wasn't doing anything. It's not like it was about my learning, it was about moving us through to high school. I hated that. ~ Andres" (Cushman, 108).

[I think these five short sentences may sum up part of my first year of graduate school! Isn't it true though? From parents to teachers to the Board of Education, the grades become the ends-all-means-all. I have personally suffered from this attitude, as I have always tried to get the approval of my mother by getting all A's all the time. If I brought home a B (or Heaven forbid, a C), I was criticized and felt ashamed. I'm with you Andres and I hope more students can understand the true purpose of a quality education.]

"If you don't have a patient teacher, it's bad. If the teacher can't make you understand, he gives up on you and stops trying. ~ Rafael" (Cushman, 157)

[In my opinion, this is one of most egregious cardinal sins that any educator can make--namely giving up on a student. Of course, patience is a virtue and needs to be acquired over time, but it is a worthy trait to attain. If you lose hope in a student and they realize that, then you've lost him or her forever.]


critical questions:

question #1: With this new age of technology upon us, why do you think it may be important for educators to familiarize themselves with the equipment, programs and gadgets that litter the lives of our country's youth? Do you think educators who refuse to become more technology savvy can survive? If so, why? If not, why not?

question #2: What do you think it ultimately takes to avoid student boredom? Why do you think educators have such difficulty in making the course material relevant and interesting? Any suggestions?

running commentary (life notes #2-4)

[LIFE NOTES #4 COMMENTARY]

6% (-2% for missing Takaki/Spring) First, come and talk to me about my theory and your questions. Excellent notes. General comments:

Got tech - so true - disturbing too

excellent clip

Tupac's one of my heroes - flawed but open, honest, and an activist through his rap lyrics

Yes, this is a small smapling but its reach is broad because of its focus - students sharing what's important to them about teaching.

?what about "pretty" comment :) ? Should this be a requirement too?

Yes, empathy is so important in personal and professional life

yes, each individual has their own lens/experiences etc. and assumptions are dangerous and often "wrong"

Q: Because teachers are human too and all people want to be liked

Three ingredients: co-establishing a welcoming learning environment based in: mutual respect, reciprocal learning, sharing/caring

no it wouldn't change with age/grade leve

Excellent - images, youtube clips, etc.

Weems - Creative writings (like all artistic creations) ultimately are up to the interpretation of each audience member - make your own meanings out of this work --take from it what you can use.

eyewitness accounts - memory is fleeting and reconstruction always flawed as people are flawed.

Speaking up - is risky - takes time and begins with working through your own issues first - keep being conscious and working on it.

Note: "not" satire - this was Koon's perspective.

Peace, Dr. Weems

[LIFE NOTES #3 COMMENTARY]

Hi Tom: 8% Well done, thoughtfull, Life Notes Q: Where is your running Reference list link? If I'm missing it let me know where I can access it...if it's missing...make certain to include it next time.

General comments:

Excellent opening re: Irish ancestry --so true in Ireland it's a deeply religious holiday

Lots of other examples (my work included) of voices of the oppressed speaking out

Strong images throughout on sidebar - cartoons, geisha (why did your girlfrend do this?), youtube clips etc.

Cristo Rey - clip too long to watch, per my request be certain to add a descriptive comment, baseball - good lived experience connect

respond - Corporate focus of schooling "not" all bad - I "do" see the positive but I also see the BIG negative -- education valued only to the extent it prepares you for work

I respect your perspective and suggest that as you grow as a person your prespective may change a bit--become more empathetic. I ask: How would it feel to "be" in the world if every thought and feeling you had was as a woman "but" outwardly you were physically male? This is what transgendered folks "live" everyday. Also, God makes no mistakes and all religions teach us to be non-judgemental, loving and compassionate yes?

Excellent segments on Japan and Language use

Peace,

Dr. Weems


[YOUR LIFENOTES #2 COMMENTARY]

Hi Tom ;)

8% - Really enjoyed this set of Life Notes -- difficult to discern which "set" I was reading though -- find a way to make this clear for next set (i.e. L.N. #1, #2 , etc.)

General comments:

1. Link your comments to quotes etc. "more" to your lived experience to date and what you are noticing in today's society (locally, current events etc.) around these issues.

2. Language so key to culture yes!

3. Excellent Youtube clips (Chinese) remind me to let you share "one" in our class

4. A keener ear - Good -- courage to "know" yourself comes first

5. Excellent creative elements on side blog -- like surveys too

every worker called by a number :(

6. Amish (culture) religion - excellent comment

7. I want you to share "Terror under tree clip" too - Tuesday

8. Q#1 It will happen one person at a time - it's not considered a positive (social change/justice) to have a world that loves, supports and empathizes---counter power paradigm

Q#2 No. education always touted as a national priority "but" what is it really?

panic mode (all over again) (5)

an article caught my attention in yesterday's USA Today as a picture of a US Air Force One jet seemed to be flying rather closely to some corporate skyscrapers in lower Manhattan and Jersey City. it is and isn't amazing to me how the tragic events of September 11th 2001 are still causing incredible fear and panic to Americans 8 years later!?!

when race became an issue....(5)

i was reading a case study in preparation for my school counseling class the other day and the following excerpts from a counseling session left me scratching my head: "Lamanda says that during elementary school, she was constantly harassed by classmates about being mixed race. Throughout high school, Lamanda concealed her mixed heritage from her classmates by not inviting friends over to her home. She admits that she is embarrassed by this, and she suspects that her parents realized what she was doing. She now insists that 'I am not black or white, I am me." i'm not sure if these comments would have caught my attention, if i was not currently in a dating relationship with a young woman who is a native of Peru? regardless, it has given me something to consider given the fact that if i were to marry my girlfriend and raise children some day would my "mixed-race" family be faced with similar challenges? i'm not sure, but i do know that race would probably play a much more significant role in my/our lives than before, even if my wife, children and i never considered it a pressing issue. interesting, no?

color commentary plus q & q (cushman ch. 3-5) (5)

In chapters three through five, Kathleen Cushman turns her attention to three major components of teaching at any level--namely classroom behavior (management), creating a culture of success, and working with each individual students as well as the class as a whole. She shares students' experience in both orderly/successful as well as disorderly/failing classrooms in such a way that the reader/perspective educator understands the significance of establishing the right rules & tone, being authoritative (but not callous), and setting clear expectations & goals for each student. Part of the educative process, according to Cushman, is that adolescents need to taste some success from time to time; the more the profession becomes more about completing lesson units and grading quizzes/tests and less on classroom discussion, deviating slightly from the syllabus for individual student interests, and continual student feedback/reflection, the more difficult and dull the overall teaching & classroom experience will be for all participants. In chapter five, Cushman categorizes students into seven groups (eye-roller, wallflower, hand-waver, dreamer, con artist, goof-off, and workhorse) in order to suggest the diversity of attitudes, personalities and competencies that make up a typical classroom. She also examines how this sort of array of students can alter the entire dynamic of an individual's or group's educative experience, if certain steps and actions are not carefully taken.

essential quotes:

"In math class last year we had like eighteen substitutes. One teacher would try telling us one thing and the next would tell you another thing. I stopped going to that class because I wasn't learning anything ~ Veronica " (Cushman, 57).

[This quote is personally appealing, because I have served in multiple school systems as a middle school and high school substitute teacher. I am somewhat able to understand the frustration that students, like Veronica, endure as a result of their teacher being out indefinitely on maternity leave, illness, or the like. I wish that substitutes were never needed, because I realize the lack of progress that takes place when they are filling in, but they are a necessary part of each school district.]

"We had to do math problems in groups, and each day some students had to go up and present them. If you weren't 100 percent sure, you wouldn't want to. I thought I knew it and I presented it and I was wrong. It was a terrible feeling, but the teacher did a good job of helping me get the right answer while I was up there, so I didn't have to go sit down and let someone else explain it. He asked a couple questions that helped me understand why what I did was wrong ~ Hilary" (Cushman, 64).

[I had a similar experience in Dr. Weems' class this semester when I was the only one amongst my classmates to give a response that was somewhat controversial regarding the morality of abortion. My teacher and I disagreed at first, but I was able to understand where she was coming from with her response and why I may want to reconsider my own response if I find myself in a similar situation in the near future.]

"Maybe in the beginning of the year or when you start class, say to students in a reassuring way: If you don't know the answer, it's okay; if you do, it's okay ~ Alexis" (Cushman, 70).

[From what I have observed and experienced, first impressions are extremely important for several reasons. As a teacher/authority figure, you want to be able to set the tone of your classroom or conversation, so establishing clear ground rules and demonstrating your passion for your profession are significant. Likewise, you want to create a safe learning environment for your students, so immediately informing them that you will not be making any assumptions or judgments may be beneficial to your overall relationships with your students.]

"When I don't know the material, I don't even ask questions...I don't want people to hear me talk because I don't people to notice me. I have this fear that people judge me for every little thing. I stutter when I'm nervous, so ti's a big thing for me, or I'll say a word wrong ~ Lauraliz" (Cushman, 87).

[You might as well put my name next to the end of this quote too, because this is how I have felt--and still do--about my participation in most discussions/debates in which I feel as if I can contribute very little to the conversation. Obviously, this is not usually true, but it has been a slow, and at times, grueling process that continues today. I have much sympathy for Lauraliz et al.].

"A lot of times students don't answer because it's a question where you either get it right, or wrong. Instead, ask questions where there isn't a right or wrong answer. Ask students, "What's your opinion, what matters to you? ~ Mika" (Cushman, 91).

[I like this suggestion of asking student's about their personal opinions on certain topics/issues, because this practice is great for stimulating classroom discussion and bringing these sometimes abstract/theoretical concepts to everyday life, which I always hear that students complain about].

critical questions:

question #1: Sometimes I think there is a greater need for ongoing teacher professional development, regardless of the number of years that a particular faculty member has been teaching. Do you believe this is an important need/concern or is this a waste of personal time? If so, why? If not, why not? Also, what facets/dimensions of education should the development focus on?

question #2: What has been your relationship with school counselors? positive? negative? Negligible? I strongly believe that this is a vital relationship particularly for the student which is why I am in training to become a professional school counselor. I'm curious about your own interactions with professional counselors...